KARAOKE MADNESS
by iStoleYourChips
Summary: Hilarity ensues as the State military engage in a battle of theme songs!
1. It begins

A/N:A weird little songfic I made when I was sick and stayed home from school.I was so bored i started listening to these song i don't know why they're on my computer but i used them!This is the re-done version of thee story.

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"Morning chief !"Came the greetings of Roy's male subordinates as he walked into his office on Monday morning.

"Hey guys have you seen Colonel Bastard around here?"Edward asked needing to see the colonel about an invitation to a certain karaoke party that evening.

"Right here 't you respect your superiors more?"The black haired male sighed looking down at the blonde knew Edward never really respected adults because he thought he was one.

"Whatever you say"Edward said putting his boots on the table

"Well what do you want shrimp."

"WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULDN'T REACH THE COOKIE JAR!"

"......I didn't say that."Roy responded sweatdropping anime style.

"Anyways I wanted to ask you about-"Ed started but was cut off by a bullet grazing across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh hello Edward "Riza said smiling friendly to the shorter alchemist "Colonel Whats this about?"questioned the brown eyed female holding an invitation up.

"Well duh its an invitation to party."

"Yes I see but why does it say 'All military personal that recieve this notice must come'. "

"Because I thought it would be fun!It will be sooo totally über cool"Roy exclaimed in a gay way, "Aren't you excited!"

As you know Roy mustang doesn't shout out things stupidly so this makes no sense so here is why he is hyper!

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"Hey Colonel why are you looking sad?"A random bartender asked him

"My rent is due,I have a whole stack of papers to sign and I'm bored."

"Here take this drink and relax"

Little did Roy know he just drank half a bottle of vodka double-wine.

"Leemeee geeet choke-o-lattè milf!"

"...How about no."

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"Colonel your breath smells like...alcohol and milk."Edward complained after Roy was in his face

"I love you too Ed-kun!!"

"Hawkeye,Get him off me!Pleeeeeeeeease!

"Sir, Lay down for awhile."Hawkeye said as she ushered the man on the couch after shooting the wall behind him to get his he fell asleep, She turrned to Edward"He is to drunk to do anything else should return to your dorm room."

" a good night First Lt."

Edward hurried to his dorms so he could think about the past couple of minutes.A drunk Colonel draped over you is not a good feeling at thing he could defintly wait for was the Karoake party that was only a few hours away.

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Okay im sooooooo sorry i couldn't upload the second chapter because of some internet probs..

I finished it so all i need to do is get it beta'd and for my other story akatsuki dreams i finished the second chapter but that and a new story somehow got deleted off my computer,

Hmmmmmm...I wonder if someone deleted it!Oh drop a review.

XXXXIMPORTANTXXXXIMPORTANTXXXXIMPORTANTXXXXIMPORTANTXXXX

Oh yeah one more thing im looking for someone to co-write a story with you have ideas but get stuck at certain parts i could help you and vice will probably be useing a seperate acccount for intrested pm me or e-mail it!my yahoo and google are going to be on my page.


	2. oh noo

This is a rewrite I shortend some things fixed up some mistakes and i generally think this is better.I am rewriting some things

"WELCOME! This is the First bi-annual Central Karaoke Extravaganza!"A brunette said as she walked onto the stage."I'm Sczeska and we have A super fan-tabulous show to put on! Enjoy and shutup so people can sing! Buhbye for now" She said as she finished and the curtains opened to reveal a blonde teen. She was wearing a black miniskirt and white tank top.

"I'm Winry Rockbell singing 'These Boots'! So listen and cheer me on" she told the crowd while holding her favorite wrench named Rico Suave XIIII

"What happened to the other thirt-" A flying wrench quickly cut-off this sentence.

Are you ready boots?  
Start walkin  
Yee haw  
C'mon  
Let's go

You keep saying you got something for me (uh)  
Well officer I don't mind to say you do  
Now you're looking right where I thought you'd be looking  
Legs come here when laws in front of you

These boots are made for walkin  
And that's just what they'll do  
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

I'm the girl with the good boys who don't mean you no harm  
This gotten way with hazard county charm  
The aint no crime in havin' a little fun

Sweat my stride  
Bat my sexy eyes  
Where my boots at (haha)  
Strut ya stuff come on

You keep thinking what you shouldn't be thinking  
Another to far is down till you kissing ground  
I'm a gonna send you back home as you crying  
But Granny sure is gonna be proud

Come on boots  
Start walking  
Come on ladies

Hey ya'll  
Wanna come and see something (uh uh, uh uh)  
Can't touch, can I get a hand clap for the way I work my back  
Tick tock all around the clock drop it" To accent the end of the

"Wait, are you in the military?"An unidentified voice asked.

Winry thought about it for a minute. Then she remembered she still had Edward's watch. Pulling it out she faced the audience and said "See I'm part of the military too! Seeee! VIVA LA -WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE STATE IS!"

"Dammit Winry that's my watch! I've been looking for it!"

"You can't prove it! NENERNENERNEEENER!"Winry yelled out to the young alchemist."If you want it come and get it Shrimp" With that being said she ran around the stage hoping to maneuver around the flying bird seed soaring through the air.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A GRAIN OF BIRDSEED SO SMALL IT CAN'T EVEN BE CHOKED ON BY A BABY CAUSE IT PASS RIGHT THROUGH THE THROAT!"

"Apparently you"

People turned and saw the one and only Colonel Roy Mustang (insert drool) walking across the room in order to get to the ran back on stage her short brown her bouncing with each step she took."Well now that we have contender number two we can get on with the show. Go Colonel!"

"With pleasure" the young Colonel said will grapping a microphone from a random person's hand."I'm Colonel Mustang singing 'I'm a Flirt'.

Ima Ima Ima Ima flirt  
Soon as I see her walk up in the club Ima flirt  
Winkin eyes at me when I roll up on dem dubs Ima flirt  
Sometimes when im wit my chick on the low Ima flirt  
And when shes wit her man lookin at me damn right Ima flirt  
So homie dont bring your girl to me to meet cause Ima flirt  
And baby dont bring your girlfriend to eat cause Ima flirt (It better be real tight to you know what im talkin bout)  
Please believe it unless your game is tight and you trust herrrrr (You bring your girl around me you better put your best pimp foot foward)  
Then dont bring her round me cause Ima flirt

Soon as I see her walk up in the club Ima flirt  
Winkin eyes at me when I roll up on dem dubs Ima flirt  
Sometimes when im wit my chick on the low Ima flirt  
And when shes wit her man lookin at me damn right Ima flirt  
So homie dont bring your girl to me to meet cause Ima flirt  
And baby dont bring your girlfriend to eat cause Ima flirt  
Please believe it unless your game is tight and you trust herrrrr  
Then dont bring her round me cause Ima flirt

"Isn't that the perfect song for you boss."Havoc said while sulking in the corner. Said man just smirked at his second Lt.

Soon his smirk went away as he saw Riza approaching him "Sir where did you learn that song?"

"….Internet"

"What's the Internet?"

"SHHHHHH!Don't say those kinds of things the _nice_ _and extremely good looking_ producers might be watching. Well everybody we'll see ya next week with our very own Fullmetal and Strong Arm Alchemist singing their own favorite songs! Good night and don't forget to leave donations for-"

Oh yeah one more thing I'm looking for someone to co-write a story with me. If you have ideas but get stuck at certain parts I could help you and vice versa. We will probably be using a separate joined account for it. Anyone interested pm me or e-mail me! My Google is going to be on my page.


	3. 7 things I hate about Barbie

Its Been FOREVER!!I'm really sorry about the crappyness of it!Anyway Just keep reading!

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The mousy brunette was once again on the stage with a slight blush painting her cheeks "That was an amazing performance up next is-"

BOOOOOM!

A loud explosion echoed through the hall as dust quickly filled up the officials began to enter coughing fits as they waited for the polluted air to was a state of slight confusion as people began to wonder what made the a moment of silence it was clear who the culprit was.

"I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO!IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED!!"

"IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU COULD SEE OVER YOUR BOOKS!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN A MIGIT BEAN SPROUT SHORTY WHO CAN'T SEE OVER A SMALL STACK OF BOOKS!!"

"APPARENTLY YOU,YOU MIDGET SHRIMP!"

"GRRRRR I CAN'T STAND YOU YA OLD BASTARD!"

"i"m not old dammit!I have no gray hairs!!"

"Oh yea?I can see one,two,five,Eighteen gray hairs old man!!"

With that last comment being said the blonde alchemist burst into the Mess hall with a furious blush splashed all over his tan hands were in fists as he glared at nothing in is until a dark haired soldier walked in a few paces behind him with a cool and collected gaze. Soon Edwards unfaltering gaze was directed towards said man.

After a few seconds of silence edward began to realize , he was in the mess hall with hundreds of pairs of eyes turned on , he was on a stage that wasn't there earlier that morning.

"Umm...anybody feel free to explain what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing."Edward said in an uneven voice ,honestly confused about the looked around for an answer but none came.

Smacking the blonde alchemist in the back of his head playfully Havoc began to explain to the young prodigy what was happening."Well Boss,you're supposed to stand on stage and sing a little song for at the end of the week whoever gets the most votes gets a week off and a big bonus."

"So...what do I sing?"

At this point the bookwarm regained her composure and wrapped her arm around the little Elric"You'll be singing 7 things."

"HEEEEEEELL NOOOO!!I won't sing that shit."

After the statement was finished however several people took note that Roy Mustang had an evil glint in is eye."Fullmetal,if you don't sing,I'll have you court-martialed for disobeying a direct order."

Edward grumbled as he took the microphone from the stand"Fine"while he mumbled profane words under his breath"But you better give me a day off for this shit."FINally he took a deep breathe and began singing in a soft melody

_I probably shouldn't say this  
But at times I get so scared  
When I think about the previous  
Relationship we shared_

It was awesome, but we lost it  
It's not possible for me, not to care  
And now we're standing in the rain  
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you  
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you  
You're vain, your games, you're insecure  
You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
I don't know which side to buy  
Your friends, they're jerks  
When you act like them, just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you

After the last word of the verse drifted off Edward looked down expecting to be boo'ed off the a large clapping arose from the stage as the whole military present,began whistling and clapping.

"I think we found our semi-finalist!Finally for the day we have Major Armstrong!"

"DON'T WORRY MY FELLOW COMRADES!SINGING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS OF THE ARMSTRONG LINEAGA!I WILL NOT DISSAPOINT YOU!"

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

Come on, Barbie, let's go party

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

Somehow in the middle of the song the Majors shirt came off and his muscels flexed bulgingly in everyone's face.

"Umm,Brother I think I'm mentally scarred for life after that."Alphonse said while walking away from the Mess Hall.

"Don't worry Al!I think everybody is a bit traumatized after seeing that."The mental image making bothe boys shudder visibly "C'mon I wanna get outta here and get a burger"


End file.
